CONGRATULATIONS!

The Catholic Diocese of Arlington extends to both of you the very best wishes for a long, rewarding and blessed married life together.

Now that you are engaged, and looking forward to the great day of your wedding, the clergy and laity that make up the Catholic community here in Northern Virginia are ready to assist you in your marriage preparation.

It is probably true that by now you have made some inquiries into renting a hall for your reception and, perhaps you have been to the bridal shop. The excitement and marvelous happiness that accompany this time are joys that are fondly remembered by couples in later years. It is truly a time of busy moments and of small "attention demanders" - and, in retrospect, you might wonder where the time has gone as your wedding day approaches.

It has been the experience of many couples that in this energetic rush of events, the essential importance of the event itself (YOUR WEDDING, YOUR BECOMING MAN AND WIFE - THE ENTRANCE OF GOD'S LOVE INTO YOUR LIVES IN YET ANOTHER WAY), is often unintentionally and even unconsciously overlooked. It is not given the attention that it deserves.

Because of this phenomenon and to provide the proper understanding of what Christian marriage is, the Diocese of Arlington has introduced a marriage preparation policy. This policy allows the couple time, in a calm atmosphere, to consider reflectively and carefully what it is that they are about to do and to become, for the responsibilities of marriage are serious, and the promises made are very profound.

Marriage, like other sacraments, is a privileged moment of intensified union with Christ. The grace of the Sacrament of Matrimony establishes a community of faith, of loving, of calling each other to holiness. Marriage is the smallest union of persons in which Christ lives and demonstrates his desire to show what the church is - a union of persons calling each other to holiness through the graces of our Heavenly Father. By marriage you will assume an ecclesial mission. Day in and day out sacramental marriage effects what it signifies. Your marriage is to proclaim both the present witness of the kingdom of God and the hope of a blessed life to come.

The following pages of this brochure provide a brief listing of the diocesan policies and procedures in place to ensure proper preparation and readiness for you individual marriage.

POLICIES AND PROCEDURES FOR MARRIAGE PREPARATION IN THE ARLINGTON DIOCESE

1. You and/or your spouse must be registered in a parish of the Arlington Diocese.
2. The Diocese of Arlington prescribes a six month marriage preparation period.
3. Your first step in marriage preparation is to notify your parish priest no later than SIX MONTHS prior to your proposed date of marriage, and set up a meeting with him for an initial interview. Note: this is necessary even if you plan to be married outside the diocese. This meeting should take place before any social arrangements for the wedding are finalized.
4. During the FIRST MONTH you must register by mail for one of the following pre-marriage programs:
   1. Conferences For The Engaged
   2. Engaged Encounter
   Registration is necessary during the FIRST MONTH to enable scheduling your attendance at a program during the first three months of your preparation period. Brochures explaining these two programs, listing dates, and containing the registration form will be provided by the priest or deacon preparing you for your marriage. Registrations by phone are not accepted.
5. Your priest or deacon may require you to attend a series of classes on Natural Family Planning. All couples are urged to attend these important classes even if the clergyman doesn’t require it. Your priest or deacon will provide you with a schedule of the upcoming classes.
6. You will be required to meet with your priest or deacon as a couple at least four times during the six month period, excluding the wedding rehearsal.
7. At one of the meeting (usually the first one) you will be asked to take the FOCCUS survey, a series of statements to which you each will respond with your perception of the statement as it pertains to your own situation. The scoring of this survey will provide the preparing clergyman an indication of the strengths and weaknesses of your situation so that he might help to improve your readiness in areas where needed.
8. In some instances, it may be necessary for the priest or deacon to request a couple to obtain additional counseling in order that he may be assured of the readiness of the couple to assume the serious responsibilities of Christian marriage.
9. There are also special procedures for teenage marriages and for couples with extraordinary circumstances.
10. Father or Deacon will also gladly assist you in preparing your wedding day - the liturgy, the readings you wish to use, the music, and all the other factors that go into making this your most special day.

Please remember, that all the elements of this policy are to assist you in a proper approach to a great beginning of your marriage.

IMPORTANT: IF YOU PLAN TO MARRY, CONTACT YOUR PARISH PRIEST AT LEAST SIX MONTHS PRIOR TO YOUR PROPOSED DATE OF MARRIAGE.

Some frequently asked questions can be found on the Diocese of Arlington website.